When we come into this world with a very pure and innocent soul. We don’t know any thing about what is going on, in this big bad world. And when we grow up we feel so insecure to have a successful and happy life.
When we are young, our parents or other people say to us though they are telling nonsense we believe each of their word. For example a mother tells her children to eat rice or a monster will be there to get them. Just like that if our parents or any other tell us that We are very beautiful and smart. We believe that we are very smart and beautiful. But if anyone tell us that we are not beautiful or smart we believe that too. Even though that is a lie.
It was just an example. But when we grow up we make many wrong agreements with our self-consciously or subconsciously. Some from our parents, some from friends and mostly from societies. Agreements like to be successful you must get good grades and be doctor or engineer. Black people are not beautiful and we should make fun of fat and short people. Boys are more important than girls. I don’t know how many wrong agreements you made for yourself but I’m gonna tell you 4 agreements that you should do for a successful and happy life.
4 Agreements to Have a Successful and Happy Life
1. Be careful with your words
Once there was a mother who was very kind and intelligent. She had a little daughter and she loved her a lot. One evening when she came back from work she had a headache. The day was rough for her that’s why she was very tired too. She needed a peaceful environment. But at that time her daughter was singing and enjoying the moment. Her singing got louder and louder. Because of that her pain was increasing. At a time her patience broke and she shouted “Shut up! your voice is so bad. Shut up for gods sake”.
In real her voice was not so bad. The words came from rage and the girl didn’t know about her mother’s headache. So she believed and made an agreement to herself. She decided to never sing again. And she rarely talks to anyone or express her feelings. She thought her voice irritates people. She believed that if she hides her feeling everyone will accept her. This agreement changed her life completely.
When we agree on opinions it becomes our belief. In this story the reason behind her negative agreement is some words that came out from her mother, the person who loves her the most. The mother didn’t even know how her words impacted on her life. And this little incident build a wall between her and successful and happy life.
We do not understand that our word is the most powerful tool we have. It can very much effect others life as well as ours. But like a sword with 2 edges your word can create the beautiful dream or your word can destroy everything around you. Adolf Hitler influenced a whole country using his tongue and started a world war. On the other hand Mahatma Gandhi finished a war and freed his country.
Most parents always criticize, complain and say bad things about their child. Like they call them stupid, dumb and say they cannot do any thing in their life. Parents think they are doing something right for their children. But actually they are killing their confidence and self belief. And when parents do something like that the children believe that they are actually incapable for doing something.
So my suggestion is that instead of criticizing or complaining about things we should compliment them for the good things they do. It’ll have a good impact on them.
2. Don’t Take Anything Personally
Our second agreement for a successful and happy life is not to take anything personally. Whatever happens around you do not take it personally.
Suppose someone randomly calls you stupid without knowing anything about you. It’s not because you really are stupid. It’s because of his feelings and his thoughts. Maybe something bad happened to him or he is a bad person.
But if you take it personally it means you believe that you are stupid.
For example, if you call a brilliant student dumb, he won’t take it seriously but with humor. On the other hand if you say something like that to a poor student, he will definitely mind. Cause he knows he is not so smart.
And just like that after calling u stupid if you mind, it’s possible you are thinking subconsciously that “how did he know that I’m stupid. Do I look like a stupid?” Which is a wrong thought and you shouldn’t think like that.
When you take things personally that means you agree on someones bad opinion. And when you are agreeing with him, the poison coming out of his mouth will affect life.
When people feel bad. they don’t want that only they are the only one feeling bad. That’s why he gives bad opinion or do something bad to make you feel bad.
Often people who criticize your life are usually the same people who don’t know the price you paid to get where you are today. So you should be the one to respect your life.
Learning this agreement is not easy. But once you’ve mastered this agreement, you will not feel bad even everyone around you thinks you are loser.
3. Don’t Make assumptions
A famous author named Stephen was traveling by a train. It was very quite and calm. Then a person with 2 children got on the train. The children were very naughty. As soon as they got on they changed the whole atmosphere . They were screaming, laughing and even were pulling the paper of a person who was reading newspaper. But their dad wasn’t doing anything about it. He was just sitting with his head bowed.
Watching this, the people along with Stephen got very angry. Stephen became so mad that he angrily said to the father “You should straighten your kids”. And Stephen thought to himself, parents like that are responsible for this kind of kids. The kid’s father looked up and tried to understand the situation and then said “sorry, you are right, I should do something about this. Actually I’m coming from hospital. My wife died one hour ago. I don’t know what to do.”
After hearing this, Stephen’s anger was gone. And he felt pity for him.
We humans have a nature to assume many things without knowing the whole thing. We think we know every thing but actually we never know the whole thing.
Assumption can create many unnecessary drama, sadness and misunderstandings which can affect both our personal and professional life. That’s why, we should avoid assumption for a successful and happy life. This single agreement can change your life completely. Cause it teaches us to have courage to ask questions to other and yourself too.
If you are hurt about something you should ask questions or speak about it. But do not make assumptions. Who knows? Whatever you are thinking might not even exist. Whatever you want, you should speak as clearly as possible. Because most assumptions are based on lack of having proper communications.
We always think a person obviously knows what we want to say. But in actually most people are not so smart. They never understand other people’s feelings.
Agreement 4. Always do your best
H.V Kaltenborn was an American who was traveling many cities. And after traveling many cities he came to Paris, when he realize that he was out of money. So he joined a job of sales man.
In Paris most people speaks french. But he couldn’t speak french. At first he faced a rough time to sell his product. But he did such a thing that made him 5000 dollars in commission and was the highest paid salesman of that year.
Everyone was shocked that without knowing french how he did it. And was asking him that constantly. So he started to explain.”It’s true that I don’t know how to speak french but this never stopped me from giving my best. First I wrote what I have to say in french to sell my product and memorized it perfectly. When I knocked on the door of the customers and anyone opens their door, I started to tell them what i memorized. My french sounded so funny that they mostly started laughing. And became very friendly with me. Then i used to show them my pictures and tell them that I’m American. And sometimes I even showed them my written copy of french which i used to hide inside my hat. Then we laughed together. After all most of them bought my product”.
H.V always gives his best and that’s why even without knowing french he became the expert of that job. We should try to give our best to achieve success.
We should always do our best regardless of the situation. Because that is what winners do. And get a successful and happy life. Giving your best means, whatever you do, do it happily. And don’t take actions for the hope of getting the rewards.
People often make this mistake and don’t enjoy what they do. And because of that they are not able to do their best. At first H.V Kaltenborn didn’t like his work too. But then he thought he had to work anyway, so why not enjoying his job and giving his best.
Just this agreement and mindset changed his life for ones and all. And helped him have a successful and happy life.
I came to know about 4 agreements by reading the book named The Four Agreements. Which is a very good book and one of the best seller. You can buy it too by clicking below. Its worth it.